Vivaham is the actual wedding ceremony of the Malayalam Ezhava community. It happens at an auspicious time as decided earlier and the thali (mangalsutra) is tied around the neck of the bride. Tying the sacred knot is the most important event in a Hindu Ezhava wedding.
Stage Decoration for a Malayali Ezhava Wedding
The main mandapam is decorated with flowers. It should have a photo of Sree Narayana Guru. The Nirapara (measure) and Nilavilakku (lamps) are essential in an Ezhava wedding. Nirapara filled with paddy seeds and coconut flowers are also placed on the mandapam. Five Nilavilakku, coconuts, flowers, seven to eleven plates of gifts, etc. are also placed in the mandapam. The Nilavilakku is lit so that the God of Fire - ‘Agni’ sanctifies the wedding. The concept of havan is not there in Ezhava weddings.
The Significance of Having Sree Narayana Guru Picture on the Dias
Sree Narayana Guru played a significant role in bringing about a lot of reforms for the Ezhava community that has helped increase their stature in society today. Apart from the other social reforms such as removal of untouchability, he played a pivotal role in scrapping the mock wedding known as ‘thalikettu’ which was prevalent among the Ezhavas in the past.
Mock Thalikettu Ceremony: In the olden days, the ‘Thalikettu’ ritual actually happened when a girl attained puberty. It was also known as the ‘Kettukalyanam’. A ‘mock groom’ whose horoscope matched the girl’s was chosen among her cross-cousins. He would tie a gold chain around the girl’s neck which was considered the wedding knot. As referred, he was the ‘mock husband’ and was free to go and marry or be with the woman of his choice in the future. By this ceremony, the girl was made eligible for ‘sambandam’ with the upper caste Hindus of Kerala. Sambandam (samadham-to agree + bandham-relationship) was similar to the ‘live-in’ relationships of today. However, the woman wasn’t given much option and the upper caste Hindu men (apart from the first borns) had physical relationships with these women. The children that were born out of ‘sambandam’ didn’t have rights over property and mostly grew as orphans.
This mock marriage system was abolished by Sree Narayana Guru who introduced the ‘vivaham’ and the ‘thali tying’ ceremony and thereby instilled certain social disciplines among the Ezhava community.
The Vivaham Ritual in Kerala Ezhava Wedding
Unlike other wedding rituals in the Malayalam community where the bride and the groom sit next to each other to tie the mangalsutra, the Ezhava wedding takes place while both of them stand in front of each other.
The bride wears the saree gifted by the groom's sister during the Ayanam ceremony. After the bride and groom arrive, at the pre-fixed Muhurtham time, the bride garlands the groom. Then, the priest hands over the thali to the groom. The thali is made of a bunch of thick threads soaked in turmeric and has the mangalsutra inserted into it. Knots on both sides of the mangalsutra help to hold it in the middle. The bride and groom stand opposite each other in the Mandapam and the groom ties the Thali around the bride’s neck which is a symbol of marriage. Nadhaswaram (a long wind instrument) and percussion instruments are played at that time. After tying the thali, the groom garlands the bride.
Ezhava thali designs are generally very small and simple. The design of the Thaali resembles the shape of a leaf and bears the design of a leaf. This is why it is called Ela Thali. The Thali also bears the Om symbol.
Each ritual in a Kerala Ezhava wedding is carried out as per the reformed versions and some additional rituals adopted from other customs are also followed these days. The Vivaham, the sacred knot signifies the completion of the wedding and with it, the bride and groom are declared man and wife.